Agatha All Along just ran a 25-minute episode, and I’m okay with it. That’s 25 minutes up until the credits start, from the guy who has gone after Secret Invasion, The Acolyte and Obi-Wan Kenobi for their half-hour episodes. So why am I okay with it? Am I being a hypocrite?
No. This was a wonderfully good use of 25 minutes. They packed a ton into it, and Mrs. Know-It-All and I had just finished watching it when we sat down, hence the hair and the whole look, because it’s very 80s this week.
The Salem Seven Finally Get a Backstory
Everyone wakes up where they fell asleep on the road, but just before that we see the Salem Seven have entered the road. Oh no, they’re there. And I’m sitting there naming off the animals like my family doesn’t know what the names of these animals are.
Back in the very first episode I told you I knew the Salem Seven were from the comics somewhere, but I didn’t know much about them in this context. Now we get their backstory. Agatha killed her original coven, and she spared their young children. She left their firstborn kids alive. Those kids got together and became a feral, hive-minded coven bent on revenge, and that’s the crazed group hunting Agatha for real.
The part I didn’t know is that she killed her coven by accidentally absorbing their powers. That wasn’t on purpose. I thought she had to do something to take it. I don’t want to go so far as saying she’s a mutant, but it’s an innate ability. This isn’t a magic spell. And her mother said she was born evil.
Broomsticks Across a Blood Moon
The Salem Seven are chasing them, and that means we get flying broomsticks. What a fun scene. They do a little dance, there’s a little ceremony, because you can fly the broom, you just have to give it to somebody else. You can’t do it for yourself.
I keep wanting to call her Lila. It’s Lilia, and I loved her explaining what a cliché the whole thing is. “Brooms have been co-opted by the holiday industrial complex as an absurd emblem of our culture. They’re an obvious symbol of female domesticity. And they’re basic.” It was hysterical. I laughed.
Then they all take off and fly across the red moon, because it was a blood moon, and I don’t care how cheesy everybody thinks it is. Y’all can think it’s cheesy. I loved it. Aubrey Plaza even does her witch’s laugh, which I thought was great.
The road is not letting them go, though. Even though they were following the path of the road, the road said uh-uh, down, and forced them back to the ground.
Agatha’s Trial, Kind Of
The only way to escape is to get to the next test, and Teen notices it’s Agatha’s. I say kind of, because it’s more about Agatha than it is her challenge. The first trial looked like hers too, and it turned out to be about Jen.
They’re all in their 80s best, which is great, and they find a Ouija board with very specific instructions. Don’t antagonize the ghost. Don’t take your hands off the thing or you’re going to release a spirit. They do release a spirit, and it’s not a good one. It’s Agatha’s mom, Evanora.
She possesses Agatha, and Agatha is channeling Linda Blair in The Exorcist all day. All she had to do was be a little greener. Then we find out what the ghost wants. For everyone to get released, they have to punish Agatha. “Leave her with me.” No. No way. And Agatha’s freaking out.
Did She Mean To?
Alice immediately starts doing magic to try to save Agatha. The energy shoots Agatha’s mom out of Agatha’s body, and now that energy is going through Agatha, and like we said before, it turns purple. Clearly it’s a pleasurable feeling when she’s absorbing power. I’m sure it’s like a euphoria.
Stanley, who watches Nerd Fights, this one’s for you. Alice dies. A lot of you complained in the comments that you didn’t know why she mattered or why we were supposed to care. Good. She’s gone. That’s why she mattered.
So everybody turns on Agatha, and this is the part we went back and forth on. Mrs. Know-It-All remembered that in one of the first three episodes they said she gets power by you using your power on her, so don’t shoot your power at her, and now there’s this disconnect where Agatha seems to believe she has no control over it.
I don’t know that she has control of it. I think it’s involuntary. I think she’s very happy when it happens and she kind of owns it when it does. But this was a different kind of case, because Alice was obviously trying to save her. Plus it clearly upset Teen.
While all this is going on another ghost shows up. It’s Nicholas Scratch. It’s her son, and he essentially says, “Please, Mom, stop.” And she stops.
Now we’ve got Mrs. Hart and Alice gone. I’m telling you, before it’s all said and done, there ain’t going to be many of them left.
That Crown Looks Familiar
Agatha says goodbye to the ghost, the little door hatch opens up, and she storms out. Teen, Jen and Lilia leave too, and Teen confronts her.
“Killing people to serve your own agenda? Not for me.”
“Are you sure? You’re so much like your mother.”
He gets upset, and out comes the blue power energy. For those of you playing at home who watched WandaVision, you may remember what blue looks like and where that comes from. He possesses Jen and Lilia, who trap Agatha and stick her in a bog, and she gets sucked down into the mud. Then he takes the other two, launches them into the mud, and we close up on his face.
Very Wanda-like. He’s got a little crown that looks very much like Wanda’s crown, and Wiccan, the guy from the comic books, wears something very similar. I think they’ve basically confirmed it. This is Billy. This is Wanda’s son. Not Agatha’s, like I swore up and down it was. Sorry, guys, if my prediction was wrong. That’s the fun of predicting this stuff.
Where Was Rio?
Rio was nowhere to be found when everybody was being sunk into the bog. And if you go over the trailer images, Agatha in the later episodes is dirty, covered head to toe. So I’d guarantee you she’s getting out of that mud somehow.
Things are looking bad, and I don’t know what they’re going to do, because the Salem Seven are right on their heels and the road isn’t letting them go.
The Verdict
Agatha All Along Episode 5 is a 9 out of 10 on the Know-It-All Index, and that’s a nine from me and a nine from Mrs. Know-It-All.
This episode was amazing. We covered everything quickly because that’s how good it was. No issues with story, no issues with pacing, and it even got a jump scare in.
We both really wanted to give it a 9.5. It’s only a nine because I believe there are higher places to go, and I don’t want to blow the whole thing here. I want somewhere to go, because better, bigger things are coming.
Tell me your score and what you thought of the episode. Are you enjoying having this in the month of October? I know I am. The final two episodes air the day before Halloween, and it feels like a good opportunity to spend the month in the creepy, scary place. We’re watching Halloween movies, and I’d love to see your lists. The conversation lives in the comments on the video above.
