I’ve now seen Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 three times, and I’ve heard so many conflicting things, so many people being upset about stuff, and I’m like, what are you guys talking about?
I saw it by myself at an early screening. I saw it with the fan base on the Wednesday before it came out. And Mrs. Know-It-All and I just saw it again a couple days ago, which was her first time. Baby Know-It-All had already seen it, loved it, and came home raving about it. She’s the one who insisted I needed to talk Guardians of the Galaxy.
This one’s a road review, the first of what I hope might be many. I live super far away, it takes about 45 minutes to get into town, and we’re visiting family. Mrs. Know-It-All’s there right now and I’m heading that direction. As much as I’m the guy doing most of the driving for the family, I want to be very much involved with them, so this is one more opportunity to pull you guys into our lives. If y’all don’t want to watch this, that’s cool. I’m totally fine with that.
By the way, spoilers, cuz clearly you guys don’t know who I am.
What Were We Expecting?
One of my good buddies over at Geeky Cast wasn’t a big fan, but I think he’s starting, little by little, to come around. I’m not even going to talk about the MCU yet. I’m just going to talk about this. Is it the magic of what we expected, or what we expect? I don’t know, man. I liked the story they were telling.
I know a couple of the reviewers, like Dan Murrell and some others, didn’t know how they liked the weaving in and out of the Rocket storyline. I didn’t mind the Rocket stuff.
Do the Pets Die?
There’s a group I’m on with a bunch of other scoopers, a bunch of them had gotten a chance to see it, and we were all worried about the same thing. Is it one of those? Does the dog die, does he kill the cat, do pets die?
So you have to understand, these are CG animals. They’re not genuine animals, and you know that because at the very, very end of this thing it literally says on the screen that no animals were harmed. So no animals were harmed, okay?
Now, is it intense? Absolutely. Let’s be real, I cried several times. The story was very, very intense.
Nobody Dies, and Drax Becomes a Dad
Let’s all be frank. Not a lot of us think there’s a whole lot of stakes going on in these things anyway, and by that I just mean people die, people don’t, or whatever. But I will say this. Bad form. The whole movie, James Gunn, you made me believe that in some way, shape or form, somebody major was going to die. Nobody dies. A bunch of folks just go off and do different things.
I did not see Drax being a dad coming. It came out of nowhere, and it was intense for me. I love my family very much, and I couldn’t be happier. So seeing him, who had lost his daughter, get an entire family of kids to raise, it was right here, buddy. Right here, Drax. You go, Drax. Loved that part.
Gamora Finds a Home Somewhere Else
Gamora’s journey I’m not a fan of, only because I would have loved for her to have survived. But I feel like James Gunn couldn’t have just retconned what happened in Endgame. Otherwise there are no stakes.
I did like where they went. Gamora wanted some kind of connection someplace in terms of a family, a place to belong. Thanos had pretty much destroyed her home world. So having her find a home, and having it be with the Ravagers, was really surprising. But remember, after she comes from the past into the present, or for her it’s the future, that’s it. She books, she’s gone for the rest of that movie, and we don’t see or hear from her again until now.
And you get Sylvester Stallone and the classic Guardians. I say classic Guardians because if you’re a comic book fan, that’s who those guys were in the comic books. I mean, seriously, everybody, right down to the glass guy. It’s just great.
Then they see her, and you find out Nebula has known. And it’s like, bro, why would you be like that? But okay. I see where you guys are going with this.
People were asking whether that means Quill’s going to end up with Nebula. I don’t think that’s what was being set up. I think Nebula is very much a part of that family the way a sister would be. I think her best friend is Rocket, and her version of a brother would be Quill. It’s the family, and I get where they’re going with it.
The High Evolutionary Deserved More Power
I don’t know how everybody feels about the High Evolutionary. I thought, frankly, he was a bit of a throwaway villain. I liked his intensity. I felt like they made him very impotent compared to how the High Evolutionary was in the comic books.
I’m not that old, but I went back years ago and read the High Evolutionary series of events, and even Thanos felt more like Thanos from the comics. Not that he is, cuz he’s not, but it was a closer comparison than the High Evolutionary the way he was portrayed here. As long as you know that, you can step out of it and separate what you know to be true from what’s true on the screen. This isn’t going to be exactly the High Evolutionary, and I’m okay with that.
The outfit looked dope. The story about him and Rocket looked dope. But for a guy who’s supposed to be nigh a god, even if it’s a self-proclaimed god, cuz he’s just a scientist creating things, I would’ve liked to have seen him a little more powerful. Don’t get me wrong, Quill’s awesome, but he’s not exactly channeling energy like he was with Ego, and he doesn’t have a stone like they did in the first movie when they took on what’s-his-nuts. I was kind of like, what’s happening here? I would’ve liked to have seen him give them a harder time.
“But Not Yet”
Then you get to the end, and Rocket is in the afterlife. He’s in his dream coma, whatever. They show him ready to go. And then he sees Lylla.
What got me so intensely is that this CGI character sees her, and it’s the most human and relatable emotion I could have seen him do. It was to see him like, oh God, I can’t believe it’s her. And I’m like, well, that’s it. He’s dead. He’s done.
And then she stops him and says, but not yet. And I’m like, not yet! And then he wakes up, and it’s great. It’s so good. Golly, it’s good.
There you go. Now you know. And if knowing is half the battle, you’re halfway to being a know-it-all yourself.
The Verdict
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 lands at an 8 out of 10 on the Know-It-All Index, and it’s a very well-deserved 8.
You can’t judge this against the first one, because the first one was unbelievably brand new. You didn’t know what you were getting into, so everything was new and fresh, and of course we were like, it’s great.
I felt like this was a wonderful button. Having Peter go back home at the end was really cute, and I’m so glad the actor who plays his grandfather was still around. I like everybody’s journey. And Star-Lord will return. If you look at the comics, the Guardians have interacted with the X-Men, with the Avengers, with a whole bunch of characters and groups that are coming or could potentially be seen, so there’s room for that. Quill has so much experience with intergalactic stuff that there’s no reason he can’t get recruited by somebody to do something.
What’s Coming Up
There are all kinds of rumors and speculation about everything going on right now, and I’m down for it. I missed whatever the leak was that was going around about Godzilla, so you’re not going to hear nothing from me on that one. I definitely want to look more at Daredevil. And I know Echo is supposed to be dropping the whole season in one shot, very Netflix-esque, which I find interesting and funny. I’m here for it. I’ll binge it, do a series review and let you guys know.
Never forget, everyone loves a know-it-all.
Give me your thoughts on Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, and tell me whether you liked this road review, cuz that’s what it is right now. The conversation lives in the comments on the video above.
