The episode starts with Boorman giving Kit the story of the Kymerian Cuirass, and about midway through, just as it’s about to get good, we cut to the quote unquote present and Kit’s like, hey, now I see why they call you Boorman.
And I was like, wow.
So this continues the series’s run of having one character who’s behaving like they’re in the show and another who’s behaving like they’re in a completely different show. I don’t mind that the younger characters behave a certain way. You’re sort of expressing to us that this is what’s going to be happening from here on out, and I’m okay with that. The issue I have is that it feels sometimes like the writers aren’t respecting their own story. The behavior of the younger characters is actually giving me the impression that they’re almost trying to lampshade it. Oh yeah, you know, fantasy stuff is normally so stuffy, but we get it, you younger audiences. And I’m just like, ah, guys. Really?
Elora Is Gone, and the Sky Turns Black
Willow immediately notices Elora is missing. Everyone starts searching, the prince comes out and says they’re there, and everybody gets up and goes running after her. While they’re searching, Kit sees the tree. Yeah, that one. And she’s like, well, huh, what do you know about that.
Then you get this really interesting moment where Jade and Kit have to have kind of a conversation, and it looks as if there’s going to be a fight. Ultimately there is no fight. What you get instead is a big group fight as they’re attacking and pursuing, and Willow finds himself very much afraid of what’s happening. He’s afraid to use his magic to its fullest, because apparently he’s going to need it later. At one point Silas has his knives out, trying to protect Willow, and Willow’s like, what are you doing? Going to shiv someone. I think there’s a difference between shivving and shanking, but anyway.
The bad guys get away, the good guys pursue, and they come to this large cliff area where you see these dark, black, roiling clouds just consuming the whole sky. You hear a voice, and the voice is speaking in what they call Pnakotic. Of course our boy the prince, who is always the guy in a pinch with a language, starts translating, and yes, for certain, it is the spookiest stuff you ever heard in your life.
So they’re not unclear as to what is coming. Willow explains that if they’re not careful, the guards who came to get Elora are going to give her over to the Crone, and the Crone is going to banish Elora to another dimension. They’re like, why don’t they just kill her? And he says because if they kill her, her spirit will endure and she’ll be reborn. If you banish her, you can trap her away. It’s the same thing Bavmorda was trying to do in the original movie, when Willow stole Elora Danan out of the large sacrificial bowl thing. She was about to banish Elora to another dimension.
Female Penn and Teller
While they’re riding, Elora manages to wake up over the back of Ballantine’s horse. Her hands are tied. She slips them between the blades of the knife that’s sticking out of his belt, cuts herself free, falls off the horse, and bolts for the woods.
Now at this point I’m thinking, oh man, maybe we’re going to get the brownies, maybe we’re going to get some Cherlindrea type something. And we don’t. What you do get is she runs through the forest, and suddenly, as if by magic, she finds herself in this really sunny, beautiful clearing with these two strangely jeans-wearing woods women. One of them is wielding an axe rather expertly and the other one is somewhat mute. So female Penn and Teller are very much like, hey, what’s going on, what’s your name? She says my name’s Elora, and they’re like, oh, probably named after our one day to return empress or whatever. Sit down, let’s talk. And clearly she tells them the entire story.
When we come back to them, they’re both slack-jawed. Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it. They both admit they’re shocked that it’s her, and they pledge themselves to her until their undying breath or something like that.
That’s just when Ballantine shows up. He talks some smack, and the woodswoman with the axe immediately starts fighting him, and she’s really good. So much so that she gets him in the back with her axe. But Ballantine is no longer part of the living. Ballantine is an undead creature, a lich, and he immediately stabs his sword back behind him and kills her. And you’re like, ah, she was so much fun. The mute lady and Elora go running, eventually they get chased down, and yeah, the other woman dies too.
Evil Rain, and a Prince Who Reads
Outside the forest, the group is arguing about which way they have to go, and of course everyone keeps poking at Willow. Why don’t you do magic? You’re the great sorcerer, why aren’t you helping? They’re having all kinds of issues just traveling, not to mention the fact that it’s this deluge of evil rain. I say evil rain because it’s all attached to the dark clouds. Evil rain. All I see is like a little cloud. Sorry. ADHD brain.
Then this thing happens that hasn’t happened in a long time. Willow has a vision, and with the vision comes pain. He’s trying his best to fight through that and give them a vision of what’s going to happen.
Meanwhile Boorman and Kit decide they need to go ahead. It’s not really a village, but like a stopping station, and he explains that the Slaughtered Lamb is this tavern they can stop at and maybe get some help, raise up some people to come help them defend themselves. So the group splits up, and the rest head one way with the wagon and everything else, doing their very best. On that trip Willow and the prince have a conversation, briefly, and the prince knows stuff, and Willow’s like, well, what the heck? Because apparently when you’re a prince who doesn’t want to actually be a prince, you do a lot of reading. Which we learned last time. He’s very well read.
I Want to Trust Boorman
Boorman and Kit arrive in what looks like a destroyed place, and Kit’s like, what happened? He says this is the place where your father and I came, and it comes out he’s been lying about some things.
I don’t like this part, because this part makes me begin to question whether or not he’s a trustworthy narrator, and I don’t like having that questioned. I feel like it’s disingenuous, and I feel like it gives the writers an out to write poorly. At the end of the day I want to trust that Boorman is the guy he’s supposed to be and that the information he’s giving us is valid. Some people might be like, oh, that’s just good storytelling. No. It’s sloppy storytelling, because it’s designed to keep us confused, because you don’t even know the answer yourself. I’m not feeling secure in the storytelling at this moment.
Now, I’m still enjoying the show. I don’t have a problem with the show so far. But I definitely feel like there are some writers’ hijinks going on, because this episode is not written well. It’s not written badly. It’s just not written well.
Rodents of Unusual Size
They decide to go down into the crypt. Boorman’s like, I’m going to go find a thing, because your dad Madmartigan and I told the guy who owned the Slaughtered Lamb some stuff that we knew he would take to the grave. Okay. Very specific verbiage. She’s like, I’m not going down there, and he goes, good, stay up here, watch out for the were-rats. And he says it so fast that she’s like, what?
So while Boorman’s down there, she’s sitting up top just chilling, and all of a sudden she sees a couple of glowing eyes, and you see this practical effect of this rodent rat thing. They’re R.O.U.S.es, man. It’s The Princess Bride. They’re rodents of unusual size, but they have like two heads and they’re deformed. I don’t think they’re were-rats as much as they’re just mutant rats, like some sorcerer back in the day did experiments, which is totally a thing that happens in Dungeons and Dragons. And what you get is this entire underground crypt system that is full of these things.
Down below, by the way, he’s like, yeah, no, I guess I was wrong, I don’t know anything. And then he finds this thing. We don’t know what it is. It’s round, it’s got a hole through it, it could be kind of a code thing, whatever. He puts it into his bag and heads up.
Before they come out, Ballantine and the rest have all arrived. They look around, they see horses, and they’re like, whatever, we’ve just got to go up those steps, across the plateau, and then we’re there. They’re going to a very specific place.
The Battle of the Slaughtered Lamb
Elora decides she’s not going anywhere and she’s going to fight them. She touches one of the guys to slap his face and her touch burns him, and she begins to really believe she’s the Elora Danan she’s supposed to be. She’s like, I will be the most powerful sorceress in the world, and she starts trying to chant the Tuatha thing, and they all kind of start to laugh at her. She says, I’m going to summon the forces of good to protect me.
Just then, sure enough, Willow and the crew show up, and it’s a fight, man. Jade faces Ballantine and it looks like it’s going to be a duel. Then, as everybody’s fighting, all of a sudden through one of the door areas from the crypt, Boorman comes bursting through, and now it’s an all-out pitched fight in the rain. There’s people, there’s swords, there’s everything. You see the little guy, Silas, shivving people left and right.
This is a fun RPG style fight that I am down for. The only thing that would’ve made it a little better is if somehow some of the were-rats had erupted out into the thing in anger, because they were being chased by an awful lot of them. If you’ve ever role played, you know your DM. You’re trying to escape, he’ll roll for you to get away, and then you end up stuck, because the enemy’s like, nope, we’re going to keep chasing them. Sure enough, they come following you wherever you’re going, so you end up in the town, you bring them all with you, and it all goes to hell really quickly.
What the Magic Costs, and Silas
Silas gets tossed aside, and this is all it takes. Willow has finally had enough. He shouts a spell word and slams his staff into the ground, and it erupts in this massive explosion outward of energy that begins to dispel the demonic power that’s taken over Ballantine and the guards. Ballantine falls.
And Willow is injured. If you remember, in the original movie, when Willow first tried to do magic in order to turn Fin Raziel back from being an animal into a human, he felt pain. Performing magic hurts him sometimes, when it’s a little bit stronger than perhaps he should be using, or if he tries it a little harsher than he should. That’s exactly what happens here.
And that’s when Silas dies.
Yeah. It’s a sad moment. Probably the first moment that’s damn near taken me to tears, and mainly it’s seeing little people cry the way you would see any other actor, and it’s wonderful to see the talent that’s there. I tell you what, they’re doing wonderful work. They really are. Everybody there on the show.
The Path to Nockmaar
Once it’s all settled and done, they can’t go one way, because the pass is basically about to flood and become a lake. Willow doesn’t want to go the other way, but they have no real choice. They have to go up the steps, the way that Ballantine was going to go.
That’s the end of the episode. You see them walk by some rocks, and it’s revealed that this is the path to Nockmaar. That’s right, from the movie. And then you get this really great rendition of “Enter Sandman,” and I’m like, okay. All right. I’m here for it. I don’t mind it. I’m down.
The Verdict
Willow Season 1, Episode 3 lands at a 7 out of 10 on the Know-It-All Index, slightly less than I gave it last time.
The reason I’m giving it a 7 is because some of the story and plot issues are starting to really show themselves. But the acting is engaging, the story they’re giving us is interesting, if a bit lazy in places, and ultimately I’m still here for the Willow show we’re getting. I’m very thrilled with the direction this whole thing has taken. There are some problems, there are some faults, obviously I think there are some missteps. Overall I enjoyed the episode.
I’ve heard some people who’ve judged the show say it doesn’t remember what it is, or it’s supposed to be Willow but it’s more like CW teens and Willow. I don’t know that I see it 100 percent that way. I definitely think the younger characters behaving outside of the genre feels off, but all the older actors holding that line, I feel like that’s the right move.
It hasn’t grown on me yet. We’ll see. I’m kind of hoping it doesn’t grow on me, because I don’t know that I like my fantasy shows to be that much more modern-y. If I wanted modern drama of the modern world, I’d go get that. There was nothing even remotely like this in the original movie, so while some people might see it as an updating, it feels lazy. If you want to show me you’re a talented actor in genre, you be genre. That’s just me.
I hope everybody’s loving the show. I’m still enjoying it, and we’re still going to stay here for it.
Tell me what you thought of the episode, and whether the younger cast playing it modern is working for you. The conversation lives in the comments on the video above.
