It’s finally here, and I don’t know that I could have standed this much longer. Stood. See, that’s how bad it is. This thing’s affected how I speak.

This is the finale, the last episode of Willow on Disney+, Season 1, Episode 8, “Children of the Wyrm.” Normally I’d give you a recap of some sort, but I just need to jump right into this thing and go with you guys.

He Drank the Kool-Aid, Quite Literally

The episode starts exactly where it left off, and the enemy presents themselves. Kit and Elora are standing there, the Gales are right behind them, and Kit’s goofy brother is standing in front of them. It’s real. It’s so real. Turns out he’s drank the Kool-Aid, quite literally. Apparently the water is some sort of mother’s milk of the Wyrm.

And by worm I mean W-Y-R-M. Many of you who play fantasy role-playing games will understand that term. Essentially it means a giant something, some sort of a dragon or an actual beast or creature. In Old Norse mythology the entire world is actually surrounded by one that’s asleep, and part of Ragnarok is that it would wake up. So the concept isn’t new. It also harkens back to Satan in the Garden of Eden as a snake, which is very traditionally in our brains. I get it. I’m with them on this.

Airk’s so funny, because he’s like, no really, it’s totally cool, it’s everything. All you’ve got to do is come in and have this conversation. That’s literally what he’s telling them. And they’re like, okay, I don’t know how I feel about this.

We’re still completely in the same realm we’ve been in to this point, which is that this is a very expensive CW show. Someone handed CW producers a whole ton of money. I say someone, but obviously I mean Disney, who gave Jonathan Kasdan and all of them a whole bunch of money and said let’s go do this thing.

Boorman Takes the Roller Coaster

Then we cut back to the party. Jade decides she’s got to follow, she’s got no choice, and she takes the leap. Right after her, Boorman’s like, all right, well, come on, I guess we’re going to go do our own thing. And Willow’s like, peace, I’m out. Then Willow proceeds to tell Boorman about himself. He’s loyal and courageous. And before Willow can even finish, Boorman’s like, yeah, okay, goodbye, and jumps off the thing, whooping and hollering like it’s a roller coaster the whole way down.

The CW Moment

Not long after that we switch back to the door, and you get to see Elora and Kit walk in. They meet the Crone, who’s not the crone. So you get this CW moment where you have the beautiful villain, the mindless brother puppet, the beautiful heroine and her beautiful heroine guardian.

Somewhere in one episode, Kit has come full circle and is all in on Elora Danan. One episode prior she was looking at her like, why did my dad choose you? Okay, they had a moment. I’m sure they did. I keep rubbing my head because I’m trying to just follow along, and it’s not easy, because the show wants to be a lot of different things.

The Crone entices the both of them, they go into the light, and they each get to see something different. Kit sees her mother. She sees Sorsha, and Sorsha is apologizing to her about the way her life has been. No, it’s really me, I’m really here. We all know that’s not the case, especially in this garden setting, with Airk going on about how great this place is and how this is our wedding day.

So he takes Elora to go talk. They’re under a tree the way they used to be, and he’s doing all his stuff, telling her what he really needs is her here in his life. He’s just going on and on and on.

Not the Cameo I Wanted, the Cameo I Needed

They’re both being offered the Kool-Aid, the pool water, whatever. Kit decides she’s not going to drink it, and she makes that choice because she hears her father and has a conversation with him.

It’s not the cameo that I wanted, but it’s definitely the cameo I needed, and I’m here for it. They did a really, really good job. We know how they did it. It was a mixture of actual Val Kilmer, his son dubbing over, and a little bit of that technology we talked about that blended the voices together so that it was seamless. And it does sound seamless. It’s down to Val Kilmer’s pronunciation and the way Val Kilmer says things.

He convinces her that she is the shield and the sword. She is Elora Danan’s shield and sword, Elora Danan’s protector.

So Kit goes to face the Crone, and the Crone is like, oh no, Elora has made her choice. Allegedly. The choice Elora’s given is that she can continue on forward, or she can go back and make things right. By that I mean she can marry Airk before all this happened and save the lives of all the people who died to protect her. Very romantic notion.

Then she’s sitting in front of this giant tree in a wedding dress, blonde again, and she sees her party and her friends. Kit, Jade, Graydon and Boorman are all there, and they’re very lifeless. Everyone’s kind of lifeless. And just as she’s about to kiss Airk, she’s like, I don’t think I’m into you anymore. Yes, she breaks up with him. Why not.

Where I Turned Off My Judgy Brain

The anachronistic nature of the show aside, because I’m in the finale, I have to sell my soul, much like the kids are being offered, in order to agree that this show is watchable. And it is watchable. No, it is watchable. You just have to give up any desire at quality.

So I had to turn off my judgy brain and just watch the thing on its face. Literally, this is the point when I turned and said, you know what, I just have to do that. It’s fine.

Willow’s Grand Entrance

Elora is essentially like, no, I can do whatever I want. She’s telling him off, and they’re like, you’ve already made this choice, who do you think you are? And then you see a footstep come down, and the staff come down, and everything does kind of turn here.

I’m a sucker for these kinds of moments. I’m a role-playing kid. I grew up playing Dungeons and Dragons, running games, love it. One D&D, anyways, and if you don’t know what that means, search it if you want. I’m not going to get into it.

It’s Willow. Big bad Willow is there.

Oh, by the way, did I miss the fact that everyone turned to stone? Let me back up for two seconds. When everyone else got there, Boorman, Jade, Graydon, there was this giant sandstorm thing that had a face. So the Mummy was attacking them. As far as I’m concerned that’s exactly what it was. It just pulled stuff out of the air, and sure enough, everybody turns to stone.

So, back to Willow’s grand entrance. Willow clearly jumped. You have to think about how awesome that is for someone who is tiny, a small person, a little person. I’m six foot seven, forgive me, and for a big person like me the idea of jumping off a waterfall is terrifying. So think about the amount of bravery and the amount of courage that was required for Willow, who by the way has overcome everything.

I contend that Willow is a great sorcerer because he has overcome everything that would make him not. That’s the hero’s journey. And even though he’s become a bystander in someone else’s story, at the end of the day we’re still following that little Nelwyn from the movie. I’ve got to admit, I’m super proud of him. I’m proud of the character that I loved overcoming the way that he has and being this guy, the guy who shows up in heroism and victory and power.

It’s very Doctor Strange. The little lightning deals go shooting out, and next thing you know you start seeing what looks like glass in the air surrounding Elora shatter. That’s when she wakes up, and she’s actually on the plinth at the pool where they were drinking before. This is part of a ceremony. It was all in her head. They were trying to keep and control her to this point.

Everybody turns to not stone, and they’re all there to help and rescue her. It’s very heroic. The Gales are there, and they proceed to fight them.

Graydon Picks Up the Wand

At some point the Crone is like, go ahead, pick up your little wand, let’s see what you’re made of. And she tells Elora, you lack conviction.

That’s when Graydon picks up the wand. He points the thing forward and he’s putting everything he has into it. The Crone’s effortlessly shielding it, but he’s putting his heart and soul into it. Finally he gives it everything he had, he falls to his knees and he drops the wand.

She picks it up and tells him that was pathetic, but she’s impressed, because she felt that he wanted to kill her, or to hurt her. Then she looks at Elora and she’s like, and that’s what you’re missing. And then she literally just goes and dusts him. Graydon disappears.

Elora is upset, clearly. She stands up and you see very Thor: Ragnarok green lightning come from her hands. Now we finally get the payoff of the question that’s been asked about a half dozen times. When is she going to start shooting lightning out of her hands? Hey, do you shoot lightning out of your hands? All these variations on that theme. And you see lightning crackle on her hands, and she starts throwing bolts of energy at the Crone, and the Crone’s fighting her back.

Boorman, Like a Boss

While everybody else is doing their thing, Boorman stops Kit and is like, I’m going to handle this, you guys go out there. By the way, you’re going to need this. They’re telling him he’s got to use the Kymerian Cuirass, and he’s like, no, I’m not the hero, this isn’t my story. This is your story. You need to be the one to do that. He puts it on her, hands over the Lux Arcana, and turns around to face the last remaining Gales by himself, like a boss.

I don’t know about you, man, but Boorman has a special place in my heart. I’ll probably either play a Boorman-like character, if not Boorman, or I’ll NPC a whole bunch of that style of character in the future, because I love Boorman in moments like this. I’ve loved Boorman the whole show. I know that character, or I know that guy who’s played that character.

Fantasy Iron Man

Then you get this really special moment. Kit and Jade have to fight the brother. Jade’s like, here, you’re going to have to do this. She puts the Lux Arcana in Kit’s chest, turns it on and activates it, and suddenly Kit becomes fantasy Iron Man. There’s a little glowing circle in her chest, she’s got armor, the whole bit. It’s kind of incredible.

Meanwhile you hear Willow in Elora’s head. He says to her, you’re still afraid. She’s not more powerful than you. You’re just afraid.

And you start to get the understanding that the Crone is just another Bavmorda. The end enemy is the Wyrm. The Crone is just somebody who has lasted long enough to still be the head orchestrator of things.

The Crone tries to get right up on her, and every time we’ve seen anybody get up on Elora like this, Elora ends up using magic on some level. So all the little red lightning turns green, and she pushes this lady back. Airk turns around, sees this is happening and tries to come to the Crone’s rescue. And it’s pretty dope, actually. She’s done, she’s failed, she’s killed, but as she’s dying she gives her power to Airk.

Because remember, that fool is a believer. He wasn’t brainwashed. He was shown an offering. There’s literally a point when Kit says to him, “Please don’t do this. You’re my brother.” And he says, “Wrong. I’m your king.”

Jade is awesome. She’s like, okay, yeah, this conversation’s over now. Can we get back to fighting again?

So it becomes this really intense sword fight. Remember, Iron Man Kit. I guess you could say she’s Joan of Arc Iron Man. Joan of Iron Man, I don’t know, whatever. She ends up essentially beating him, but she doesn’t want to have to kill him. So Willow slams his staff on the ground, breaking the end of it, and gives her the green stone. He tells her she needs to talk to him, and if he sees the light, he’ll come toward it. That’s what she does, and that’s what he does, and they manage to save the day. You see these really cool, touching scenes of them as kids. It’s not bad.

The New Big Bad

They start to walk off toward the sunset. She’s asking, what about the Wyrm? And he’s like, yeah, it’s going to come. It’s mad. It’s angry now. We’ve angered it. Elora doesn’t look back.

Then we go into the light of the Wyrm’s door again, and you see this battlefield. Graydon wakes up on it. He gets up and he sees a future version of Elora, shorter hair, the whole bit. This battlefield is littered in bodies, and she turns to him and says that in order for her to do what she’s supposed to do, she needs his help. They crest the ridge and you see this army of darkness, this army of evil monster creatures.

Essentially, Graydon is about to become the new big bad. He’s at the beginning of a journey that’s going to make him the new Crone.

So they’ve set up the potential for a Season 2 or future stories. I don’t know if we’re going to get a Season 2 or not, especially not with Bob Iger back. He may see Willow as just bleeding at this point. We know Kathleen Kennedy’s out soon, shortly after Indiana Jones drops. We’re going to find out. I know we’ve heard rumors about her compensation package and the whole bit.

The Verdict

Willow Season 1, Episode 8, “Children of the Wyrm,” gets a 7 out of 10 on the Know-It-All Index.

There’s highs, there’s lows, there’s goods, there’s bads. There’s way more bads than goods. It wasn’t a complete abysmal mess, but it wasn’t good or great either. There were enough things in it that I enjoyed myself. This gets a 7 because I enjoyed the ride. It was fun. Ridiculous all day, but it was fun.

And I’m willing to go, okay, you know what, this has shades of role-playing adventures I’ve been on. I tolerate stuff like that from my players. Why wouldn’t I tolerate it from my characters?

I’ll treat Season 2, if it gets a Season 2, the way I would have treated any Season 1 of any series. You get the first three episodes from me, and if you can’t make the first three episodes matter, if you can’t make anything matter, I’m going to stop. We’ll see what happens next season, if they even get a next season.

As shows go, this definitely has its CW-ishness. And I’d like a little more Willow in the Willow show, but that’s just me.

Let me know what you thought of the series. I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions. There’s no more Willow, but next week we’re getting The Last of Us*, and whether you played the game or not you should be excited for it. We’ll be doing reviews week after week, me and Mrs. Know-It-All, because she’s all about that show. Pedro Pascal playing essentially an angry dad protecting a kid? I know that’s not the story, but you get the idea. He’s very Mandalorian lately. The conversation lives in the comments on the video above.*